


Smash Mix

by shuilian



Series: Mix Fix [1]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Asexual Parker (Leverage), Drabble, Fluff, Multi, Post-Season/Series 04, Pre-OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuilian/pseuds/shuilian
Summary: "Is Eliot hot?" Parker asked.
Relationships: Alec Hardison/Parker, Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer
Series: Mix Fix [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666069
Comments: 24
Kudos: 215





	Smash Mix

**Author's Note:**

> My first try at writing Parker as a demi gray ace.

"Is Eliot hot?" Parker asked. She set her bowl of cereal down on the coffee table and scooted closer to Hardison on the couch.

"Is...what...ex _cuse_ me?" Hardison sputtered, recovering just in time to pause his game.

"You know how I can't tell when people are really…"

"Attractive to strangers?" Hardison finished for her.

"Right!"

"What's this about, baby?"

"There's this woman down in the pub." Parker's face was stony.

"Ohhh, there's a woman in the pub while Eliot's working the lunch shift? And what? You think she's hitting on him?"

"I think so. At first I thought she was grifting, the way she kept touching his arm. But she was so bad at it. Everyone knows you don't touch Eliot's arms when he has a knife."

"Oh, I don't think everyone...actually, you know what? That _should_ be obvious. Let's go with it."

"It just seems like there are a lot of women looking at him when he's not making that scary face."

"Not just women."

"The ones that like the scary face are worse."

"Yeah, they tend not to take 'no' for an answer."

"I just want to understand," Parker said sadly. "These women don't _know_ him, do they?"

"Most of them do not, you’re right."

"So he must be hot then, right? I just don't understand being attracted like that to strangers."

"I know, baby. You know, Eliot's not...well, if he were that type of hot like Chris Hemsworth, he couldn't do what we do. Eliot can blend into the background, make people underestimate him."

"So you're saying he's _not_ hot?"

"Nah, nah, that's not what I'm saying at all. He's definitely hot, but not like...blindingly hot to strangers hot. Conventionally hot. Not unless he wants to be."

"So _is_ he hot? You keep saying he's not, but you sound like you’re saying the opposite."

"Oh, he’s definitely hot. Yeah, I mean, he does have a really nice body. Um, strangers are into that. He has nice eyes. Like when they look at you all soft like….and his hair. Man, that hair is as dangerous as his ass. To strangers. And he can be so charming."

"To strangers," Parker repeated.

"Yeah, isn't that what we're talking about? Wait, what's really the problem here, mama?"

"I wanted to stab her," Parker said matter-of-factly. "She was being all weird at Eliot and touching him and she doesn't even _know_ him. _We_ know him."

Hardison opened his mouth to argue but realized that in all things that counted, they did know Eliot. The details they didn’t know didn't really matter.

"So what are you saying, baby?" he asked, regarding her thoughtfully. "Eliot looks like pretzels?"

"No, silly, you look like pretzels. This is like peanuts."

"...Peanuts?" Hardison rubbed his head. "Okay. And you're having feelings about peanuts?"

"I wanted to stab her."

"Well, you know what? I have some feelings about peanuts, too."

"You can mix them, you know."

"Mix what?"

"Pretzels and peanuts. I saw it at the store."

"Oh. _Ohhhh._ "

**Author's Note:**

> Updated: I just read Peanuts by MusicalLuna and there are some similarities there. I checked my history just to be sure I hadn't read it before - just wanted it noted.


End file.
